Where is the love
by LoveStory
Summary: [reishinji] she was dying, and he couldn't do anything for her...first fic! pls RR!


**Where is the love?**

**By: LoveStory**

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**A/N:** Hi! This is LoveStory's very first fic ever… and she is not very confident with this piece… please don't flame her too hard, ne? LoveStory begs you!

I beg you!

_This story I dedicated to GrowPulter for being a great author that always inspired me with her wonderful ideas!_

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Ayanami Rei is dying, that's all that Ikari Shinji could heard… and she is asking for him to come and look on her…

And that were that he was doing…

Ikari Shinji, still with his eva suit on his body, rushed in tears to Ayanami's room. And opened the door just to found a certain blue-colored hair girl, wrapped in bandage and bloodstained. But he didn't says her name like before, he was just stared at her fragile body… that was kept getting weaker and weaker while seconds run…

_Shit!_ Ikari Shinji muttered some curses under his breath, to called back his faults, that had effect with his comrade's hard injury right now… if only… if only he didn't come near th angel when he was possessed by anger… she won't be here… having that bandage wrapped around her thin body again…

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_I must have been crazy,_

_not to see you slip away from me..._

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Rei…

She was like her name, she was a light for his life… but she was fragile and weak, Even when she grew stronger… she would only ends up bandaged and bledding…

Shinji, with his trembling hand trying to reach her body… he saw her blood-colored eyes gazed at him intently, and her mouth was slightly parted, as if she would say a last word for him…

So he sat, and waited…

And for the second time… he could see her small smile, and her twinkled eyes, when he called his name:

"Ikari…"

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_Day after day, there's a space for me to fill, _

_and I can't find the words..._

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A bitter smile plastered on his lips, she was just called him Ikari, not Ikari Shinji… she still I love with his father… and somehow , it made him felt… mad…

"Ayanami…" he struggled out for words, but no one came…

Rei was just gazed at him blankly, her bloodstained arm outstretched in a great trembling, trying to reach Shinji, her comrade.

Her eyes softened when she called out his full name, as her hands managed to reach out his wet cheek, "_Shinji…"_

_

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_

_With all we've been through, _

_I'd never thought I'll be losing you _

_and I would give everything to keep you here again..._

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Shinji tapped her hand out in reflex, and his eyes met by disappointed red eyes…

_His mother's eyes…_

Ayanami smiled at him, but it was faint and sad, it was the thirds time he saw those rare sight, and he knew that it'll be the last time…

_Mother…_

"I'm dying…" she spoke.

Shinji was just gaped in shock to heard her saying. He turned his face, and bowed, until his face was completely covered with his brown bangs, "I know…"

"Can I ask you something?"

He clasped her hand as response, and nodded firmly.

She stared at him intently, then opened her mouth, "Am I… _her_?"

He didn't answer.

Is she?

He didn't know…

He didn't want to know…

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_Been spending my time,_

_trying to remind you of our love _

_but you keep pulling away at every touch..._

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She was coughing now, scarlet staining the sheets. He ignored the sharp burst of pain in his side as he leaned down painfully to slip his hand under her head to lift it, "Ayanami… don't talk"

"No" she struggled to talk, as crimson river kept pouring down from her mouth, "I want to… talk as much as I can… in my last minutes…"

And blood sprayed again, right to his cheek, from her mouth, as she coughed out some crimson blood from her body.

Shinji was just looked at her blood, and gazed at her intently while She was still struggling to breathe through the crimson rivers choking through her lips so he slowly pulled her upright and held her against him.

While she was struggling to breathe, she still took time to glanced a shining red eye to his sober face…

_Was it mother's eye?_

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_With all we've been through, _

_I'd never thought I'll be losing you_

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"Ikari… Shin…ji…"

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_and I would give everything to keep you here again..._

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_NO!_

Shinji suddenly lost controls to himself and hugged her tightly, "No…" he muttered, "No, you're not her…"

And he could felt hot tears soaking his neck.

Her tears…

_Ayanami Rei's tears…_

And he instinctively caressed her hair, "Don't cry…" he comforted her, "I'm here…"

_

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_

_And when its all said and done..._

_

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_

"S-Shinji…" she whispered, "I don't want to die…"

The words were whispered, filled with dread and fears… and they were asking for him to comfort them… what will he say?

"There will be… another me…" she slipped her hand, wrapping Shinji's body, "There will be… another feeling…"

He rocked her gently, his back on fire. A broken boy whispering to a broken girl, alone in the dim whiteness of the room, "You won't… they won't… it won't…"

_Right…?_

_

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_

_You'll be the only one..._

_

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_

Yes

Shinji shut his eyes, just to felt another crimson water splashed his body. She was too fragile, she was too weak… why did she obeyed his father's order by becoming an eva-pilot? It was too dangerous to her… eve when there're still many Reis…

But…

_

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_

_Even when there's nothing left for us to say..._

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It was too late…

It was too late for him, he should be know this a long time ago, from the first time he met her… he should have known that she deserved so much more than this…

So much more than being his mother's gen…

_So much more than being his mother's gen…_

_And he couldn't save her anymore_

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_Even if we go our separate ways..._

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"I'm sorry… I'm sorry, I'm really sorry…" he sobbed, couldn't stand to fought back the tears anymore. He was an eva-pilot… he was a hero… and he would permit those things just to turn back time… to turn back when she ran after him, and protected him from an Angel's attack…

He tried to hold her longer… but his numb arm didn't obey. His own wound started to have effect on his body.

"Ikari…"

He saw her powerlessly depended on his body, and he tried to smile, "Yes?"

"Can you… feel it to me?"

"Feel what?"

She tilted her head, to have a better sight to Shinji, "Feel… _liking_"

_And he can't_

_He didn't like her_

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_I can never say goodbye...__

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_

And he kissed her.

For the first time, and gently, he kissed her. an innocent kiss for an innocent girl.

And she could feel he mouthing on her lips, "I love you"

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_In my heart, you'll always stay..._

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And they found them later… they were died. With Shinji right arm on his stomach, giving them a blow by sucking them a knife. And Rei cradled body on his left arm._

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_

_In my heart..._

_...you'll always stay..._

_

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_

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**End.**

A/N: please leave a review!


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